{"id":200,"date":"2026-08-21T14:00:03","date_gmt":"2026-08-21T12:00:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/metodovicon.articagency.net\/blog\/comentarios-miradas-familia-nino-autismo-verano\/"},"modified":"2026-08-21T14:00:03","modified_gmt":"2026-08-21T12:00:03","slug":"whats-wrong-with-him-is-that-he-lacks-a-firm-hand-the-looks-and-comments-of-the-summer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/metodovicon.articagency.net\/en\/blog\/whats-wrong-with-him-is-that-he-lacks-a-firm-hand-the-looks-and-comments-of-the-summer\/","title":{"rendered":"\"What's wrong with him is that he lacks a firm hand\": the looks and comments of the summer"},"content":{"rendered":"

At the restaurant, your child has lost their temper. And while you try to calm them down, you notice the stares from the other tables. And then, during the family meal, the phrase comes. It always comes:<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\"It's because you spoil him too much.\"<\/em> <\/span>\"What this guy needs is a firm hand.\"<\/em> <\/span>\"My grandson was like that too, and look, he's grown out of it now.\"<\/em> <\/span>\"Oh, in my day this was handled differently.\"<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And you swallow it all. You smile. You change the subject. And inside, something breaks, because you've spent months working, researching, fighting... and in ten seconds someone reduces it to you being a soft mother.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Why summer hurts more<\/span><\/h2>\n

During the school year, life takes place in familiar settings: school, therapy, home. In the summer, however, you're exposed to a wider range of situations. Crowded restaurants, busy beaches, extended family who only see you once a year and have opinions about everything. More people, more new environments, and a child who's more emotionally unstable because of the summer itself.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

It's the perfect storm. It's no coincidence that August is the month in which the most families write to me emotionally exhausted.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

What is really happening<\/span><\/h2>\n

I want you to be very clear about this, because it's what will sustain you when the comment comes:<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Your child<\/span> isn't misbehaving.<\/strong> Their body is overwhelmed. What others see as a tantrum is almost always a nervous system that has reached its limit and can't take any more. Behavior is a message, not a challenge.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And you<\/span> don't indulge him.<\/strong> You support him. Not yelling at him, hugging him, taking him away, not forcing him to \"endure it like a normal child\" isn't weakness. It's the right response, the one the evidence suggests, the one that teaches that child to regulate himself instead of fearing you.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

The fact that others don't understand it doesn't make it any less true.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

How to respond (without spending all your energy)<\/span><\/h2>\n

You don't have to educate the world. You're on vacation, not at a conference. Have three answers prepared and choose depending on who you're with:<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n