Everyone asks you how he is. How he's doing, how much progress he's made, if he's saying words yet, how he's been having the summer.
Nobody asks you how you are.
And if someone asked you, you'd probably say "okay, getting by," because that's what people say. Even if you've been sleeping poorly for weeks. Even if you can't remember the last time you did anything that wasn't for someone else. Even if sometimes, alone in the car, you start crying without really knowing why.
This article is for you. Just for you.
Summer leaves you without a safety net
During the school year there's structure: school takes him for a few hours, therapy organizes his week, and there are professionals who share the workload with you. In the summer, all of that disappears at once. And suddenly it's just you: the therapist, the teacher, the caregiver, the one who organizes, the one who anticipates, the one who copes with meltdowns, the one who endures the comments, and the one who also has to be happy because "it's vacation time."
You're not tired because you're lazy. You're tired because you're doing the work of six people, with no shifts and no days off. Anyone would be exhausted. Anyone.
What exhaustion does to him
I'm telling you this not to make you feel more guilty, but because it's the argument you need to allow yourself to rest:
An exhausted adult has less patience, less ability to anticipate, and less room to regulate themselves. And your child regulates themselves through you . Your calmness is literally their tool. When you're at your limit, their nervous system notices and goes on alert as well.
In other words: taking care of yourself isn't taking time away from him. It's the most direct investment you can make in his well-being. It's not selfishness. It's maintaining the most important resource that child has, which is you.
Concrete things, not pretty phrases
None of this "take a relaxing bath" nonsense. Real stuff:
- Ask for help using the person's full name. "Help me" doesn't work. "Can you keep it on Thursday from 5 to 8?" does. People want to help but don't know how; give them the exact instructions.
- Schedule some time for yourself on your calendar, like a doctor's appointment. Because it is. Even if it's just two hours a week. And don't give them up right away.
- Lower the bar for summer, completely. It doesn't have to be an Instagram-worthy summer. It has to be a summer you both survive with your relationship intact. That's it. That's success.
- Talk to someone who understands. Another mother, another father, a group, an association. Loneliness is the heaviest part of all this, and it's cured by being with people who don't need you to explain anything.
- Let go of the guilt about the ten minutes. If you miss a day, it's okay. Consistency is measured in months, not days.
When to ask for more help
And here I want to be clear with you, with kindness: if your exhaustion has turned into a persistent sadness, if you've stopped enjoying things you used to love, if you struggle to get out of bed, if you feel like you can't go on in a way that sleeping won't fix… that's not just summer tiredness. You should talk to a professional.
Asking for psychological help is not a mistake. It's exactly the same as what you ask of your child when you teach them to ask for what they need.
Let something hold it up for you
Part of the challenge of summer is that everything depends on you figuring it out. What to do, how to stimulate him, whether you're doing enough, whether this is working or not.
That's exactly what the VICON Method takes the burden off your shoulders. Ten minutes a day, pre-designed, in the form of a game and song , without you having to prepare, print, or think about anything. You open it, play it, and that's it: you know that their language has progressed that day. And that little bit of time is often the best part of the day for both of you, because it's finally something to enjoy instead of something to fight about.
👉 Let the method do the work for you: try the VICON Method free for one week → https://www.metodovicon.com/login#registro
You don't have to be able to do everything. Nobody can. And you're already doing so much more than you realize.
