January is not about “returning to normal.” For many children with ASD or developmental/language difficulties, January means returning to a world with more noise, more demands, and less control .
And when the nervous system becomes overwhelmed, the usual things happen: crying, opposition, irritability, regressions, nighttime awakenings, "I don't want to go," or behaviors that seem like whims... but are not.
You don't need magic. You need structure .
In this article, I'll give you a simple (and realistic) plan to prepare for the return to school without a crisis. Not so your child "has to adapt by force," but so they can handle the change without breaking down inside .
Why January is so expensive (and it's not your child's fault)
After the holidays they change, suddenly:
- Schedules (sleep, meals, commutes)
- Stimuli (noise, lights, patio, dining room)
- Demands (sit, wait, obey, surrender)
- Separation (letting go of mom/dad again)
- Unpredictability (new teachers, new routines, new expectations)
If your child has a brain that's more sensitive to change, January feels like this:
$$ \text{Change + demand + stimulus} = \text{nervous system in red} $$
And when it's in the red, it doesn't learn. It survives.
Signs that the transition is becoming increasingly difficult
Sometimes the crisis doesn't erupt at the school gates. Sometimes it appears at home, "for no reason."
Look at these signs:
- Increased irritability or frequent crying
- She gets hooked on the smallest details (clothes, food, a "no")
- More stereotypies or need for control
- Regressions (urination, sleep, language, autonomy)
- More avoidance: “my stomach hurts”, “I don’t want to”, “I can’t”
It's not manipulation. It's saturation.
7-day plan to go back to school with fewer crises
It doesn't have to be perfect. It has to be consistent .
Day 1–2: Adjust sleep (no war)
- Move your bedtime 15–20 minutes earlier each night.
- Reduce screen time 60–90 minutes beforehand (if you can't, lower brightness and volume).
- Repeat the same 3-step “ritual”: short bath → story/song → light out.
Objective: to help the body regain trust in predictability.
Day 3: Rehearse in the morning (as if it were school)
Do a 30–40 minute rehearsal:
- Get dressed
- Have breakfast
- Backpack
- Shoes
Not to "train" it. So that the brain says: I already know this .
Day 4: Visual anticipation (even if it's homemade)
Anticipation isn't a bonus. It's a lifeline.
Create a mini visual schedule with 4 steps (drawings, photos, or words):
- Wake up
- Breakfast
- Cole
- Home
And add a fixed phrase:
- “School first, then home.”
Day 5: Practice the route
If the journey to school is already a trigger, practice it without pressure:
- Walk to the door and come back
- Or take the drive and come back
Objective: to reduce uncertainty.
Day 6: Prepare a “regulation kit”
Not to "reward". To regulate.
Options (choose 2–3):
- Headphones or earplugs (if the noise is triggering)
- Small pressure object (stress ball)
- Chewing gum or snack allowed (if it helps with self-regulation)
- "I need a break" card (if you already use pictograms/gestures)
Day 7: Farewell script (short, always the same)
The long goodbye increases anxiety.
Recommended script (10 seconds):
- "I'm leaving. I'll be back after school. I love you. Goodbye."
No negotiation. No explaining 20 times. Always the same .
What to ask for at school during the first week (without starting a war)
January is the ideal time to request micro-adjustments. You don't need a "perfect plan." You need two or three changes that will reduce the workload .
You can order:
- Anticipation : "Can you give them 2 minutes' notice before changing activities?"
- Visual structure : "Can you use a simple timetable with pictograms?"
- Regulatory break : "If you get overwhelmed, can you take a short break and come back?"
- Clear instructions : one instruction at a time, with visual support if possible.
Useful phrase for tutoring:
- “I’m not looking for privileges. I’m looking for accessibility. If the workload decreases, learning increases.”
What does NOT help (even if said with good intentions)
- “He has to get used to it.”
- “If he cries, ignore him.”
- "He behaves well at school, so at home it's up to you."
When a child is held all day, they often become dysregulated where they feel safe : with you.
Quick checklist (to print or save)
- I adjusted my sleep by 15–20 minutes per night
- I rehearsed once in the morning
- I have a 4-step visual schedule.
- I practiced the route
- I prepared a regulation kit (2-3 things)
- I have a farewell script (10 seconds)
- I requested 2 minor adjustments from the school
If you want a step-by-step guide with resources to work on attention, imitation, communication and language from home (and that you can also coordinate with the school), you can try the VICON Method .
- Android (7 days free): https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.metodovicon.app
- iOS (7 days free): https://apps.apple.com/us/app/mtodo-vicon/id6479298778
