How to learn to manage frustration and emotions in our children?

Frustration is a feeling of sadness, disappointment and disappointment that appears when a desire, a project, an illusion or a need is not fulfilled or satisfied. Children experience a large number of emotions such as anger, sadness, anguish, anxiety, etc. All of us, at some point in our lives, have experienced this feeling, but we normally have motivational and emotional tools that help us manage it correctly and that is why it is necessary to work on these aspects with our little ones.

The way in which children express their frustration can be in different ways. For example, acting rebelliously towards authority, such as their parents, caregivers and playmates. In young children it can occur in the form of the well-known "tantrums." However, other children may express this frustration through destructive and dangerous attitudes as a way of channeling it , hitting or breaking objects (Some more serious cases may lead to self-harm). Some children may also express it in a much more emotional way, expressing feelings of sadness, demotivation and anxiety.

That is why it is tremendously important to resort to emotional work . Here are some tips that can work to manage your child's frustration and emotions from home.

• Reinforce him positively: Surely there are many conflictive situations but sometimes we stop seeing those occasions in which frustration could have come out but he knew how to handle it , that is where we want you to pay attention, look for situations to mark them positively as anchoring the flag of what Yes, we want it to happen, this is a super important exercise in almost all the situations that we want to work on with our children, let's point out the good, the ability, the achievement... so our children will have a clearer path to where we want to take them!!! Any small step your little one makes should be celebrated.
• Acompañe al niño a aceptar aquello que no puede cambiarse: Se suele decir que no existen los problemas porque si hay solución se soluciona, y si no la hay no es un problema sino que es un hecho. Hay cosas que simplemente no pueden cambiarse  y ahí es donde nuestros pequeños han de sentir que los entendemos y acompañarlos en todo el proceso de “sentir” que tiene este proceso, desde que sube hasta que baja. Hay una frase que nos encanta: Más nervioso tú, más tranquila yo” cuando vivenciamos estos momentos sale a relucir en nosotros temas personales, nuestras propias frustraciones o que, simplemente, personalizamos lo que está ocurriendo agrandando y potenciando la acción cuando en el fonde hemos de ser contenedores de las emociones de nuestros hijos.  
• Look for situations when you are not directly involved in them: Ask your child to name all the things that make him angry, when we have non-verbal children... a picture is worth a thousand words, use images to, outside of the situation itself, work on the situation generating empathy, understanding and reasoning . It is very important not to do this exercise at the moment of frustration when the rational part is more blocked than the emotional part. These photos can help us, after identifying them as sources of frustration , invite your child to tear them into small pieces (this provides a much-needed physical release of emotion) and throw them into the air. Then put the pieces together and throw them away forever.
•  Respiración profunda. Probablemente has escuchado mucho sobre el poder de la respiración profunda últimamente, y por una buena razón. Cuando se hace correctamente, la respiración profunda puede calmar los sentidos de un niño y ayudarlo a superar un evento frustrante sin recurrir a gritos. El mejor momento para practicar la respiración profunda es cuando ambos están tranquilos. Hasta que se acostumbren, los niños tienden a asociar la respiración profunda con la respiración rápida, lo que tiene el efecto contrario. Es importante trabajar estas destrezas antes de necesitarlas para que tengamos la habilidad antes de que la necesitemos en una situación estresante. Podemos hacer el ejercicio de… respiro la flor que tengo en una mano e hincho el globo que tengo en la otra! De una manera gráfica hacemos esto como una actividad diaria que luego puede hacer que nuestro niño conecte con… la flor… el globo… cuando realmente lo necesitemos, o podemos hacerlo nosotros para prepararnos a afrontar estas difíciles situaciones, cuando nuestro niño nos vea identificará que es momento de coger el control de nuestras emociones y dejarlas pasar hasta que acaben y volvamos a reubicarnos emocionalmente. 

• Teach the relaxation traffic light: In addition to teaching that red means stop , yellow means slow down , and green means go , you need to go a step further by teaching them to visualize a red light to stop in a moment of frustration. This is when they can take advantage of deep breathing to calm their minds and bodies. When they turn yellow, they should think of three possible solutions (Ask for help? Try again? Ask a question?). When they see the green light, they can choose an option and move forward. Go ahead and create a large traffic light out of construction paper to stick on your refrigerator for reference. Over time, this process will become second nature and crises will fade.

“When you have a doubt about what to do or not to do, always do,

because if you make a mistake you will have the experience,

and if you don't do it, you will be left with frustration!”

(Alejandro Jodorowsky)